Choosing your own ending

So imagine that you have to flip a coin. You can choose one side to bet on, and you hope that side is facing up when the coin hits the floor.There's a chance of it turning out either way (obviously), but here's the catch - a complete stranger will decide what happens if the coin lands with the other side facing up.

It's a pretty scary thought. Taking a gamble when there's a significant chance you can't control the outcome is unwise at best, and you have no idea what this stranger (destiny, perhaps?) is like. It makes it seem clear why we find it so hard to take risks in our day to day lives.

But here's the thing - more often than not, the cost of misjudging a risk and ending up with the wrong side of the coin is largely just living with the fact that you were wrong. Take the idea of pursuing a career that is possibly beyond your capabilities; the worst case scenario is that you go all out for this position, and instead end up in a different job. Still alive, still surrounded by the same loved ones, still fundamentally the same person, still most likely able to sustain a life full of things you enjoy. The cost? Aside from any financial investments you may have made, it's hard not to be afraid of the barrage of self hate that would follow: you couldn't do it. Your best wasn't good enough. You're too dumb/untalented/unattractive to succeed. But here's the thing: the worst case scenario is only so soul crushing because of the feelings and ideas you attach to it.

So if you end up with the flip side of the coin, it's not a complete stranger deciding what happens: it's you. You can decide to rip your self esteem to shreds because of how you failed, or you can decide to recognise the fact that you were braver than most can ever claim to be. You can decide to be at peace with the fact that you tried even when it seemed impossible, that you chased a dream relentlessly and that you left no stone unturned.

And really, if we're looking at probability here, you actually maximised your chances of reaching your goal - there's no chance at all of the coin landing on your side if you never flipped it in the first place.